I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
