My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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