Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
