You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I have feelings that need drinking.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
