a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
