Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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