i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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