jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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