I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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