is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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