I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Randomize