Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
