I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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