I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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