Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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