so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
