Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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