I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
