My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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