Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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