I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
