okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
you win again, gameday.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
