i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
