I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
