so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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