Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
