If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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