dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
