if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
