she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
