five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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