pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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