I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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