Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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