I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
