talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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