haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
