vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
