so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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