Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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