either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize