just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
