There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
