HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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