She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
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