So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
