oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
