She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
