if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
