I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Randomize
