Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
