There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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