Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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