bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
