i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
