please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
