Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
worst night to have a conscience
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
