So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
