We won't sleep together?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
this will be a night to untag.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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